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The joy of my heart

Lara's story

Jesus ... Mary ... St Rita ... Sunday Mass, family trips to the shrines and monasteries ...  I grew up in this atmosphere, in a family embraced with the love and affection of the Lord.

I grew up with a subject in my mind, and made me question a lot with my mother: "I like the nuns, but I am afraid of their lives, will I be a nun one day?".  Perhaps many people have faced this question at a young age, but to me, it became the subject of all my thinking: "Am I called to be a nun? But I do not deserve it, what does God want from me? What is this feeling in me?... Day after Day, Thinking started to tire me and answers were so far that made me unaware how to obtain them. Then, I decided to make myself busy in worldly things because I might be living an illusion towards the consecrated life. I entered the Lebanese University choosing a difficult degree, Biochemistry; I got a job and decided to give private lessons in scientific subjects. In this case, I will not have the time to think about the subject.


The car, the phone, friends and staying up late, work and permanent fatigue did not prevent me from remembering this strange feeling in me.


Until a day came, I received from someone close to me, a sudden invitation on 14 11 2010 ... The sudden invitation was  a meeting organized in the monastery of the Holy Family Ebrine. I did not refuse the invitation, although i was frightened.  My friend had prepared everything   after she told a sister (nun) all my questions regarding the vocation.

Morning came, and the meeting started. At 11.30 we were asked by the teacher of the Novitiate to take time with Jesus in order to listen to the call in depth of our hearts, and if this was the joy of our heart. We meditated in the light of the text of the invitation of Samuel (Samuel I, Chapter 2) ... At the moment I felt flames of fire devouring my heart, I did not understand its meaning, but I was really afraid, and spoke only two words: "I want to leave  ... I want to leave." I ran away refusing to enter the depth of my heart. But I forgot to take my heart, my heart stayed in Ebrine. Since that day, a sense of deeper feeling grew up stronger in me, and a greater need to return to that place. I still did not know the meaning of this feeling. I asked for a meeting with the nun.  Meeting after meeting, I began to understand, and an indescribable joy accompanied me in a 6-month journey which focused on "what my heart wants, what and where its joy was, and what is the meaning of the feeling that I have".


I understood  that I do not want to take  my  heart back to that place but I  want to go and stay with it  there, because there lies my life.  There, I consecrate all my life to my love, and I live with him  the joy of my heart .... He called me and I am here to accept his call. He will dwell in my heart forever and I will be for him "a nun  " ... Preparations has started ,  and confrontations with the parents who, despite their faith at first , refused my decision  to enter the convent  . After several meetings and retreats with the teacher of the Novitiate, it was agreed to enter the convent on the feast of St. Rita on 22 May 2011, with the presence of my parents, with tears in their eyes.

And here I am today, the daughter of the Holy Family, I live with my heart in the Congregation of the Holy Family consecrating my life and my love with pride and freedom to the beloved Jesus Christ. Day after day, I am discovering the love and the presence of the Lord in my life, repeating with the Founder Elias Howayek : "My ambition is your delight.. . You are all that I need. "

 

 

ِQui suis-je pour que tu m'appelles Praising God I chose you before I gave you life I have called you by name, you are mine. My vocation is a precious pearl, I found it!!!! Thank you my Lord for you are Salvation You are the Glory of my Life

Blessed week Let us pray : 


Christians in Africa.

"That Christians in Africa, in imitation of the Merciful Jesus, may give prophetic witness to reconciliation, justice, and peace."



               
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